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Mona Lisa Smile Reviewed By Preston Jones Posted 06/28/04 10:19:01

"Mediocrity...thy name is Mona Lisa Smile." (Total Crap)

News flash, America—apparently, women are people too. I make this blindingly obvious and offensive statement simply because Mona Lisa Smile, the Oscar-baiting, redundant and painfully bland film starring the toothsome Oscar-winner herself, Julia Roberts, spends a good two hours bashing the audience over the head with that point.And oh, how I wish that dismissing this movie was easy simply because (I’ll go ahead and dive into that “traditional” male role here) there are no eyeball-peeling explosions, virulent profanity or gratuitous nudity—far from it. Mona Lisa Smile is a cheap Lifetime knock-off of Dead Poets Society that lacks grace and subtlety, as well as a sense that perhaps modern audiences aren’t clueless.Directed by Mike Newell, who helmed Donnie Brasco , (how you get from that film to this one is beyond me) and co-starring “It” girls of the moment Kirsten Dunst, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Julia Stiles, Smile might make a slight opening-weekend ripple (it’s up against Return of the King ) but, even as counter-programming goes, it’s still near the bottom of the barrel.Set in 1953, the film centers on one Katherine Watson (Roberts), a fiercely free-spirited graduate of the University of California Berkeley who accepts a position teaching art history at Wellesley College, a women-only institution where the students –including Betty Warren (Dunst), Joan Brandwyn (Stiles) and Giselle Levy (Gyllenhaal) –are torn between the repressive mindsets of the time (i.e. the women are being forged in a Norman Rockwell housewife mold) and their longing for intellectual freedom and to challenge traditional viewpoints (i.e. if it weren’t for those evil, evil men, these women would be doing Great and Wonderful Things With Their Lives™ ).Is there more to the story than that? Well, not really—the students marry, end up in crap relationships, men are pigs, women deserve equal treatment, c’mon everybody, let’s get enlightened, I am woman, hear me roar…on and on. I feel thoroughly justified in my disgust since I heard one woman behind me remark as the lights came up: “Didn’t that feel like a big girl power ad?” I rest my case.The cast does what they can with what they have—which is to say, not much. That the filmmakers could assemble a cast with that much wattage and talent, blowing it all on a cheeseball, clichéd waste of time, money and worst of all, an audience’s intelligence. Newell’s direction feels like a treacle-soaked sledgehammer, driving home the point from the moment the opening titles fade.Do yourself a favor and skip Mona Lisa Smile. I wouldn’t even recommend it as a late-night cable viewing unless you’re paralyzed in bed and the batteries in your remote die. You’re better off waiting in line for yet another sold-out screening of Return of the King. At least the show there won’t cost you anything and chances are, it’ll be far, far more entertaining.
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